"What to Do If Your Mate Says
You're Too Controlling
Or If You're Tired of Being Controlled"
Dear Upset Spouse or Partner,
Sure you’re frustrated! The fact that you’re reading this means that control issues are a concern in your relationship and you want to do something about it.
Are you in a marriage or relationship where one partner:
Meanwhile the passive partner is feeling trapped, lost, confused, or resentful. Does this describe your marriage or relationship?
Or maybe your partner has accused you of being controlling, but you don’t agree. Even so, the perception of a control issue in your relationship creates a problem.
When control conflict in a relationship finally erupts, the mate who has been passive or submissive often feels like a ticking bomb is about to explode. And the controlling partner may be caught off guard, not knowing how to handle the new turbulence in the relationship,
Can you feel your marriage or relationship spiraling downward and you don’t know what to do to improve it?
Don’t worry. The solution may be easier than you think.
Nancy Wasson, Ph.D.
I Can Help You
In my professional career I’ve coached many couples with control conflict tearing apart their relationship.
And I’ve learned a lot from clients just like you about what works and what doesn’t work in improving controlling versus passive dynamics in relationships.
If you're going to change your relationship, you need to:
Besides my many years of professional experience, I think my personal experience also gives me credibility. The fact is, every relationship struggles with control challenges at least a little bit. And my marriage is no different.
But my husband Lee and I have discovered that the quality of a marriage or relationship doesn’t depend on avoiding control conflict altogether. That would be an impossible order.
Instead, the key to having a great relationship is to handle conflicts in a way that preserves, nurtures and builds those close and bonded feelings you want with your partner.
Lee and I have found that the path to love, respect, passion and trust is to focus on doing the things that build a good relationship and to minimize those things that tear it down.
This is the way to create true intimacy, with the two of you joined in body, mind and heart—a soul connection. You can have it too.
All you do is follow the specific easy-to-understand system that I'll show you.
Which of These Common Control
Can You Relate To?
Control problems are a huge strain in thousands of relationships every year that careen toward break-up, fragmented by angry exchanges, lifeless passion and shattered love.
Could this be a description of your marriage or relationship?
If your answer is yes, don’t despair. Things always look worse if you’re at the bottom of a pit. But I have a ladder to help you get out. Really, I do.
Or maybe your relationship isn’t that bad yet, but you can see the direction it’s headed. And that direction isn’t where you want to go.
Relax. In either case, I’ve got a solution for you.
I LOVED THIS!!!!!!!!!!
I will be happy to recommend such valuable insight and such wonderful advice that I found in your CDs and book that sure helped me reduce my control tendency!!!!! My wife said it helped her be more assertive, too.
This is such a new way of thinking/feeling/understanding for me, and BOY, did the under currents, and previous energy help get me in the mess my marriage was in.
It is so exciting to know there is still much growing and evolving
to do to make my marriage and me better!!!!!!
- Kansas City Missouri
I just spent another couple of hours rereading the Overcome Control Conflict transcript and soaking it all in after I listened to the CDs all the way through. I had hunted all over the Internet for ways to figure out what my boundaries should be (as I’m crippled in this area) and how to establish them. Your program was the first and only really good advice I’ve found on the subject.
I love the prayers at the end of the transcript. How clear, concise and heartfelt. Thank you for your gifts. You are being a blessing to many, many people.
- Sydney Australia
When we asked our newsletter subscribers to take a survey about control issues in their marriage, the number one problem in the hundreds of responses we got back was that couples don’t have the kind of gratifying communication that makes them feel close.
And that’s a shame, because once learned, communicating at a deep level is so easy. It gives partners a sense of closeness, of being on the same wavelength, of being connected at the heart. Bonded in harmony and joined in love.
Isn’t that what you want? All you need is the willingness to take small steps.
But you’re probably thinking, “You just don’t know my situation. My spouse (or partner) is difficult. He (or she) would never change the way things are in our relationship. I don’t think deep communication is possible between us.”
I understand. Many partners over the years who I’ve talked to have said the same thing. And now I’m going to share with you an insight that’s as simple as it is profound.
Small changes, added up over a period of time, can lead to a major transformation.
This is true in physics. It’s true in economics. And it’s true in relationships!
How do I mean? Read on.
Communication and trust are opposite sides of the same coin. You can’t have one without the other.
Have control issues in your relationship contributed in some way to a decline in trust between you and your partner? If so, I can guarantee that it’s affecting the quality of your communication in your relationship.
But you don’t have to suffer in a marriage or relationship without trust or communication! How do I know this?
Imagine a time when you as a child played on a see-saw with a friend who was bigger and heavier than you were. The bigger friend (call him Tommy) is sitting on his end of the board with both of his feet on the ground.
You at the other end of the board meanwhile are stranded in mid-air with your legs dangling down, helpless to change the balance of the see-saw. But you, being resourceful, ask your other friend (call her Mary) who is standing nearby to help.
Mary, spotting a pile of bricks close by, picks one up and hands it up to you, perched up in the air. Nothing happens. You ask for another brick and now you come down a bit and then stop. It takes a third brick to finally bring you into level balance with Tommy.
The point is, change only happened on one side of the see-saw, not both sides. Yet both sides came into balance after you took a number of relatively small actions or steps.
You have the ability to positively change the balance in your relationship. It would be nice if your partner was a willing participant, but that’s not strictly necessary.
I want to be like Mary, handing you counterweights to get your relationship into an even balance, where you and your mate are equal partners.
In a marriage or relationship, when just one partner makes changes, it affects the equilibrium of both partners. And if you make small, positive changes in your relationship, your mate will take notice and be influenced. Whether he (or she) wants to be or not!
And just as adding bricks to one side of a see-saw changes its balance, making incremental improvements in the way you relate to your partner will, over time, make a huge difference.
Doesn’t that make sense? I’m going to show you how to make small, yet consistent changes that over time will have a major effect on the quality of your relationship. And isn’t that what you really want?
I used to withhold sex from my husband when he wouldn’t do what I wanted. Finally after four years of marriage, he said I was too controlling and he was leaving me. Fortunately your program showed me what my behavior was doing to the relationship and how I could change. Now things are moving in a positive direction and I think our marriage will make it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
- Boston Massachusetts
My husband has had an anger problem and after we got married it got worse. He was too controlling and after 6 years of being together, I couldn’t take it anymore. I was one foot out the door but I still loved my husband so much.
I think your ideas are just simply amazing. It's like a crisis hot line and it works! You not only saved my relationship by sharing your knowledge, you helped me to get rid of the fears I had for years. God bless you!!!
- Grand Rapids Michigan
What do you do if an otherwise good apple has a dark spot on it? Cut out the dark spot before you eat the apple, of course.
Anger is like a dark spot on a relationship. And if allowed to grow, the anger will take over the relationship and ruin every part of it. And with an apple, if the dark spot grows too big, you end up throwing away the apple.
It happens the same way with a couple. If anger is allowed to fester and grow, one or both partners may decide that throwing away the marriage or relationship is the only option.
But it doesn’t have to happen that way. The key is to take action before the dark spot gets too big. Do you have a dark spot on your marriage? Is the dark spot of anger in your relationship growing?
Maybe you don’t think that anger in your relationship has grown to the point of being a major problem. But how do you really know if your mate feels the same?
Remember this—a relationship is like a moving escalator—it never is still. And a couple is either actively working on becoming closer, or they are drifting apart. Partners that report problems with control issues generally are not becoming closer. In fact, just the opposite is happening.
Understand that in a marriage or relationship with control issues, anger is typically unexpressed by one partner a lot of the time. It can be like an undetected cancer growing in an unsuspecting patient.
Why wait as the spot gets bigger and bigger? Do you really want to court disaster in your relationship? And if you choose to do nothing about it now, how do you know your marriage or relationship won’t silently pass the point of no return?
One of the tips from your CDs that really struck a chord with me was how to handle anger. When I was a little boy I had to keep my mouth shut when my mother got mad at me. I just learned to stuff my feelings and not rock the boat. When I got married, I acted the same way for 17 years with my wife when she got angry until I finally blew up. I just knew something had to change or else I was filing for divorce.
Luckily I found Overcome Control Conflict and finally started to understand my own role in creating my marriage situation. We’re going to counseling now and for the first time in a long time, I see some hope for our marriage. Thank you for helping me with your advice and your examples of what to do. Thanks for everything including your personal attention when I needed it the most. GOD BLESS YOU!!!
- Riverside California
I just finished with your control course and it really opened my eyes and heart. My wife and I are getting back together now. Wish I had found your advice about 4 years ago.
- Hattiesburg Mississippi
A little-known fact in a relationship where control is an issue is that both partners behave the way they do basically out of fear of facing change and growth. They subconsciously fear that the pain of changing their behavior is worse than maintaining the status quo.
The solution of facing this discomfort is best summarized in one word: courage. Courage is the renewable resource that each of us possesses, even when we forget that we have it.
And just as fear is the harness that keeps us tethered to unproductive and self-defeating behaviors, courage is the light switch that illuminates the new relationship that we can step into.
Imagine a couple in which a crisis upsets the status quo in the relationship. Often the submissive partner has a moment of conscious realization that the prevailing control or submission dynamic is no longer acceptable if the marriage or relationship is to be happy.
And whatever the exact circumstances of the crisis in the relationship are, it becomes clear that some type of change between the couple must happen before peace will prevail in the relationship.
This moment of crisis actually offers the best chance to change the course of the marriage or relationship because it is at this point of maximum discomfort for both partners that motivation to change may be at its peak.
Which of the following kinds of improvement
Maybe the passive partner has reached a threshold in what’s acceptable to him (or her) and says to the other, “You’re too controlling. You’re always bossing me around,” or something similar.
Believe it or not, the partner who has been given this message has received a huge blessing. Why?
Because when you get this feedback, you’ve been handed the seeds to a better, improved relationship. And if you learn to nurture these seeds, they will yield a bountiful harvest.
But if you don’t know what to do, you’ll end up wasting the opportunity you have.
That’s where I can help you.
I listened to your CDs driving to work this week and things just kept “kachinging” as I began to understand the origins and reasons for my being in my situation. Now I know where I went wrong in accepting my husband’s controlling me and best of all, have the knowledge and courage to change. If our marriage survives, it will be due to your advice and divine grace. Thank you for your prayers and for giving me the insight that I CAN speak my mind and regain my self respect.
- Dothan Alabama
Announcing A Powerful New System To Overcome Control Conflict
I have created an easy-to-follow comprehensive course to simplify improving your marriage or relationship!
The course is called Overcome Control Conflict with Your Spouse or Partner: What to Do if Your Mate Says You’re Too Controlling OR if You’re Tired of Being Controlled.
Overcome Control Conflict gives you the tools you need to get started reconnecting with your partner IMMEDIATELY.
Overcome Control Conflict is a convenient and accessible guide containing the best and most effective recommendations on stopping destructive behaviors in control situations. These pointers have worked for countless couples who have been my clients over the years.
The course consists of over six hours of audio program (in mp3 format). It also comes with a complete written transcript so you can read along with the audio recording if you choose. In additional you'll get download links to get the audio and the transcript delivered to you immediately for your convenience.
In a hurry? Click to order Overcome Control Conflict!
So what’s in Overcome Control Conflict? Here below is a partial list:
Recording One (CD Discs 1 and 2):
This recording gives an overview of control issues and dynamics that lays the background for the other recordings—designed for both partners.
Recording Two (CD Discs 3 and 4):
This recording gives specific recommendations for individuals who are the more controlling partner in the relationship or marriage.
Recording Three (CD Discs 5 and
This recording gives specific recommendations for individuals who are the more passive partner in the relationship or marriage.
Recording Four (CD Discs 7 and
This recording of a live teleseminar I conducted is chock-full of answers to the most pressing questions partners have asked me about control issues. Some of the topics I addressed include:
Overcome Control Conflict helps you take action IMMEDIATELY to start improving your marriage or relationship.
It gives you concrete information, ideas and suggestions you can use now with your mate.
Ready to get started? Click to order Overcome Control Conflict.
I owe a lot to the insights I got from your audio program about my own controlling behavior. Without it my wife and I would have for sure split up. I thought I was just being helpful with my suggestions to her, but to her it was me controlling her. And even though she usually went along with what I wanted, now I realize it hurt our marriage.
Thanks for teaching me how to change myself. My wife has already noticed a change in me and things are starting to get better between us.
- Oakland California
Discover the strategies and techniques successful couples use to overcome control conflict—the ones that are designed to give you what you want—a close and loving relationship with your partner.
You get simple yet effective ideas to build a bridge back to your spouse or partner.
They aren't theoretical; they really work.
That means you're not wasting your time just hoping your partner will respond to you. All of the tips have been successfully used by others and are designed to give you the positive results you want.
Today you can get
the Download Only Version.
For a limited time, we're reducing the price from
$37 to ONLY
$27. You'll receive an MP3 copy of the entire audio
recording plus a written transcript in a downloadable PDF document.
Considering the High Cost of Divorce or Break-Up, This Is A Bargain.
This is much less than what you'd pay for 60 minutes of my time in marriage or relationship coaching. (One hour currently costs up to $165.)
Because you get the course in two formats—audio and written—both you and your partner will have access to this relationship-saving advice in whatever way works best for each of you.
You'll be getting the secrets that have changed the lives of numerous couples who were struggling with control issues. Like you, they didn't know if they could ever be happy again in their marriage or relationship.
Yet, by using the methods in Overcome Control Conflict they created a strong relationship with deeper intimacy and renewed passion.
You also deserve to be happy and have a satisfying relationship with your partner. All you need is the right information and the willingness to use it.
If not now, when? Click to order Overcome Control Conflict!
But wait…there's more.
When you click on the button below, you'll be taken to a secure order page for your credit card information.
We use a third party secure processing company so your order information is kept completely confidential—only the processing company and your credit card company access the information.
Your order is processed immediately, and you'll get a receipt for your purchase via email.
That way, you can have instant access to the tips that counselors use with couples — but at a fraction of the cost of in-person counseling. By ordering now, you can start changing your marriage or relationship for the better immediately!
You have no risk, nothing to lose and everything to gain.
If you knew for sure that the answer to overcoming control conflict in your relationship was in this audio set I know you'd want to have it.
That's why I want you to have a chance to listen to the information before you decide if you'll keep it.
Will these recommendations really work for you? They've worked for countless other couples. I guarantee that you'll be satisfied or your money back!
Just click to order Overcome Control Conflict safely with our secure order form. I can help you. But you've got to take the first step.
God Bless You,
Nancy Wasson, Ph.D.
P.S. Remember, your life as a couple will dramatically improve if you make an honest effort to apply my recommendations or YOUR MONEY BACK anytime up to 90 days after your investment in Overcome Control Conflict. GUARANTEED! Plus, you get FREE SHIPPING WORLDWIDE.
All of the ideas and techniques in the audio CDs are ones that I've used successfully in real life situations with couples for many years. They are the same strategies I use every day in my marriage and relationship coaching practice to help scores of people transform their lives every year.
You inspire me to trust you for the next 90 days with my faith in your complete audio system with manual. I'm willing to try your suggestions with the understanding that if I fail to:
I will have every right to demand my money back anytime up to 90 days after making an honest effort to apply your recommendations if they don't deliver amazing results.
I'm willing to get Overcome Control Issues based on your IRON-CLAD GUARANTEE of my money back if my life as a spouse or partner doesn't dramatically improve as a result.
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If you reside outside the United States, your credit card purchase will automatically be converted to U.S. dollars.
If for any reason you are dissatisfied, simply return the CD set and printed transcript and we'll gladly refund 100% of your purchase price. You keep all of the downloads.
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