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 —Married 12 years, age 38, New York

Spouse's Mid Life Crisis Upsetting Your Marriage?
Here Are 5 Proven Things to Do

by Lee Hefner

What is it that makes you feel secure in your marriage?

Many spouses say the emotional rewards of closeness and intimacy give them a sense of security.  Security in a relationship means not having to be alone.  It can also mean freedom from economic crisis.

In contrast, when a midlife crisis puts a troubled marriage on the path to marital separation, the stability and security of the relationship can be rocked to its foundation. If your spouse is provoking a marriage crisis that threatens your security, you may be wondering if there's any way to repair the marriage

And no matter if it's the wife or the husband having the mid life crisis, men and women both share some similar issues. In either case, the unhappy spouse is no longer satisfied with something in their life and they want some kind of change.

You may have gotten the first hint that something was not right with your spouse when his (or her) behavior changed. It may have started with subtle clues.

 But the first real indication of marriage problems could be when a partner says to their mate "I don't know if I'm in love with you anymore."  Or "I'm not sure what I want anymore." And of course the ultimate slap in the face is discovering that your spouse is having an affair. 

Suddenly your world is shattered.  It might suddenly seem that all of your previous assumptions about your relationship were wrong.

It can seem like very air sucked is out of you and you are left gasping for breath.  Your emotions rage.  You explode with anger, resentment and indignation.

If any of this seems familiar to you, you are like thousands of other spouses every year who discover that their partner is having a midlife crisis and as a result, you are looking for some way to stop divorce before it devours your happiness and security.

Here’s What to Do to Help Deal with Your Spouse's Mid Life Crisis

You may decide that the mid-life-crisis uncertainty in your relationship means that you should seek marriage counseling advice. In any case, you’ll want to know how to do five basic things:

  • Stabilize the current crisis and buy time
  • Eliminate behaviors that can drive your partner away
  • Define what it is that you really want with and for your spouse.
  • Lay the groundwork with your spouse so that you can connect better.
  • Develop skills that will help you deepen the intimacy in your marriage.

Each of these steps could be the subject of a separate article. Just remember, even if your marriage has been rocked with turmoil, there is always hope. There are specific things that you can do right now to impact the quality of your bond with your mate.

By keeping positive and by taking constructive action, you are putting yourself in the best possible place for good things to happen for you and your husband or wife.

How to Get Started Now with Improving Your Marriage

To get started nowimproving your marriage, you may want to get the free weekly Keep Your Marriage Magazine newsletter delivered to your email box. You’ll learn helpful and effective methods and techniques that have been proven to work in strengthening your relationship.

Just subscribe below to get free weekly expert marriage advice.

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Copyright © Lee Hefner.  All rights reserved. Lee Hefner is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!"

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